the quiet professor

cycles

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sun, 27 May 2012 16:18:56 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

after sleeping for ten solid hours (I took two "mental calmness" tablets before retiring last night), and then resting in bed for another hour, I feel a bit more human.

I went to check the vehicle again this morning, cleaned another small area behind the driver's seat, and it appears that everything is completely gunk free.

If you have ever seen my closet, you will know what I mean when I say that I scrubbed every last bit of sticky beverage from every surface.

I went looking for that picture I took of said closet a while ago...

Yes. I am diseased.

When I looked out of the kitchen window earlier, I saw that beautiful flowers had bloomed. The sight warmed my heart.

I love my garden. It is a very serene place.

Then, as I skimmed through my Twitter stream, I saw something hilarious, a link tweeted by Pee-wee Herman:

I went ahead and added it to my growing collection of silly t-shirts. Although I prefer wearing black (it is simple and elegant -I like fussing with clothes about as much as I like fussing with hair), I have been making exceptions for t-shirts and scarves.

My better half is now preparing our usual delicious sunday meal. After I have rested a little more, I shall work on the last essay until bedtime. I shall burn cones of my favorite Gonesh incense, "oils and spices" and "perfumes from ancient times" (I have loved these since I was a teenager).

I hope with all my heart that you are having a tranquil weekend, my dearest ones.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

I need a chocolate frog

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sun, 27 May 2012 01:30:49 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

this is it: I am now working on the last essay in The Severus Snape Paradigm. Essay nine.

I had a very nice breakfast with wolfraven80 yesterday, relaxed... Then that afternoon, as I was working on the last page of the eighth essay, suddenly it seemed like everything I typed was horrible, and felt close to tears ("It all looked like a giant bowl of %$#@! pus to me" I would tell my better half after I fetched him from work; he thought that my assessment was not very likely).

I ate a bowl of pasta, then I got back to work and felt a little more positive. I relaxed myself.

Today I had a very nice breakfast with meri_oddities, relaxed... Then later in the afternoon, there was an incident that I can resume as follows: a)a new vehicle, b)a tray with two drinks in it, c)a tray that somehow tipped over as I reached for it, c)me being showered with sticky beverage and sitting in an overflowing puddle of it on the seat (beverage splashed everywhere, even on the new rubber mat behind the new seat in the back of said new vehicle), d)me gasping in distress and then very loudly uttering a string of French-Canadian swear words, e)me not very successfully trying to regain some semblance of calm and thanking apologetic young man who is handing me wet towels as I clean up at least some of the mess. Once I arrive home with my better half (who has been giving me room), I spend half an hour cleaning up the car, then throw my soiled clothing in the hamper and clean myself up.

I go into my sanctuary, breathe, wonder why, since I have been able to get beverage trays inside cars for years without any such mayhem, suddenly this happens, then tell myself repeatedly It's all right, start crying. I am aware that my reaction stems from certain traumatic life events that still need healing; once upon a time, I would have been terrified instead of only feeling fear and anger. I also think that I am unfit to be writing a book about love and peace and that I should quit. Recite prayers quietly, breathe. I am consoled by my better half.

I breathed some more and gently let go of the past again, of stories that still seem so vivid at times. But in reality they have no true power.

I am better now... I shall continue writing about love and peace and not quit.

Another good thing that encouraged me today... mr_ben_wu is doing something very, very beautiful for me. It reminded me of words I quoted in the book, by Lama Surya Das, in a passage where I was writing about Professor Snape's love: the "good-hearted best self."

I am also thinking about words written by Anam Thubten: "...failure is just a perception, that's all. It's okay to fail and fail continuously, time after time. In fact, every time we fail we should give ourselves a chocolate as a reward."

Those are the sort of words I need to hear. I am in fact regaining my equilibrium fairly quickly... Just let go. I am learning to simply listen to my inner commentary, to my emotions, and to release them. This is why it did not take too long before I told myself that I can write about love.

I should probably eat the salad that has been waiting in the refrigerator for a few hours now.

Then I shall continue writing the last essay. I trust Supreme Love and shall not let myself be waylaid by the assailing mind.

And tomorrow, I shall get chocolate, and continue writing for my loved ones.

Oh, my dears. The sweetest reward I can think of will be embracing you at Ascendio.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

getting ever so closer

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Wed, 23 May 2012 20:15:51 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

by the time I am too tired to go on and heading for bed later today, the eighth essay should be at least three quarters done (I want this one to be fifteen pages long... The ninth essay will be around seventeen pages).

I have been thinking. You know how some folks write "crackfic"?

I believe I am doing the equivalent with non fiction over here. I am writing cracknonfic.

Towards the end of the week, I shall begin working on the ninth essay/ramble.

The book will be finished very soon. It is a bewildering notion. I am feeling a mixture of fear and joy and calm. I am not exactly sure what I have done, but that has been the case for everything I have done so far. All I hope is that, here and there, it will lessen suffering.

A lot of things I touched upon in my previous books, I do not really discuss much (and in some cases, hardly at all) in this book. I do talk about why I see him as a paradigm of liberation, but the book is mostly a sort of... transcendental kaleidoscope. "Professor Snape is like the Whomping Willow..." He is the staircase "that led somewhere different on a Friday." He is the Department of Mysteries.

I use quotes like

God is nothingness.
And yet God is something.

I shall be having brunch tomorrow with wolfraven80, and saturday with meri_oddities, which will be a balm upon my heart.

For now... Back to work. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your tenderness.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

keep me groovin'

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 22 May 2012 17:33:22 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I have been tweaking my "working on Snape book disco playlist"...

My taste in disco is rather heavy on funk.

Here is what we have now:

Light My Fire - Amii Stewart
Hot Stuff - Donna Summers
Funkytown - Lipps, Inc.
Disco Inferno - The Trammps
Knock On Wood - Amii Stewart
Born To Be Alive - Patrick Hernandez
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
Daddy Cool - Boney M.
You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate
Never Can Say Goodbye - Gloria Gaynor
Turn the Beat Around - Vicki Sue Robinson
Rasputin - Boney M.
Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
Let's Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire
Just an Illusion - Imagination
Let's All Chant - Michael Zager Band
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
Night Fever - Bee Gees
Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston
Rock Your Baby - George McCrae
Le Freak - Chic

It is impossible not to feel mellow and relaxed when you listen to these, even when you are working on a book at breakneck speed...

In other news, MISTI-Con now has a spiffy website. My plan to rest next year is probably already out of the window ;-)

You can also check out their kickstarter page. It looks like this will be a very nice convention... MuggleNet will be involved.

Right. Back to the book. I did not sleep well last night, and am running on fumes, but I have some experience in this area.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

burn baby, burn

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 22 May 2012 01:51:06 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

is it wrong to be listening to disco whilst working on essays about Professor Snape? ;-)

Current playlist:

Light My Fire - Amii Stewart
Hot Stuff - Donna Summers
Funkytown - Lipps, Inc.
Disco Inferno - The Trammps
Knock On Wood - Amii Stewart
Born To Be Alive - Patrick Hernandez
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
Daddy Cool - Boney M.
You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate
Never Can Say Goodbye - Gloria Gaynor
Turn the Beat Around - Vicki Sue Robinson
added these
Rasputin - Boney M.
Play That Funky Music - Wild Cherry
Let's Groove - Earth, Wind & Fire
Just an Illusion - Imagination
Let's All Chant - Michael Zager Band
I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor

I felt an attack of nerves earlier, but disco takes care of such things quickly.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

Ascendio: tentative schedule

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sun, 20 May 2012 23:41:33 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

summer seems to have arrived... Not too long ago, I finally decided it was time to turn on the central air conditioning (to my better half's immense joy).

On friday I was indisposed, and felt so tired that I wound up going to bed around six thirty. I woke a while later, but did not really rise; I rested and eventually fell asleep again.

Last night, I did not retire quite so early, but not that much later either.

This morning, I put on this silk robe that was given to me by a loved one a few years ago, and read in the garden (it was somewhat cool in the shade).

The robe is very comfortable... I want a longer one, with green dragons or something.

I still have to finish the eighth essay. It is hard to believe that june is almost already here... Then july, goodness.

I do not have too many preparations left (apart from finishing the book and putting my lecture together). I need to have my two special vests taken in.

I have made a slight modification to the titles of the two final essays re: The Severus Snape Paradigm.

Instead of the final part of the book being

The Hell-Raiser
The Helper
The Healer

It will be

The Hell-Raiser
The Healer
The Herald

Where I last left the eighth essay off, I was busy comparing Professor Snape to herbal tea.

So, who is looking forward to Ascendio? What shenanigans do you have planned?

This my own early and tentative schedule...

Wednesday:
I arrive around 7:30 and head for ~~the mini bar in~~ the hotel room after drinking with droxy

Thursday:
[breakfast in hotel room]
lunch with loved ones
I shall be signing books during the book fair from 2 until 6 (approximately).
dinner with loved ones
8:00 Night of a Thousand Wizards

Friday:
10:00 welcoming feast
11:00 A Writer's Guide to Harry Potter
12:00 lunch with loved ones
gadding about
4:00 The Silver Doe & Beyond
5:00 dinner with loved ones [nightgown/dressing gown make their first appearance]
more gadding about [Snape meetup?]

Saturday:
[breakfast in hotel room]
11:30 Snape, Machiavelli, and the Redemption of Slytherin
12:00 My ramble (arg) Tuscan I
12:30 lunch with loved ones (and drinking)
3:00 Bringing Hogwarts Home: Hogwartian Decor
4:30 Chris Rankin Thesis
5:30 dinner with loved ones
7:00 fashion show [the arm of Snapeness!]
9:00 Manor Ball

Sunday:
10:00 leaving feast
a lot of resting, gadding about, meals with loved ones

Monday:
going back home early in the afternoon

Something like that. Good times!

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

Ascendio lecture details

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Wed, 16 May 2012 20:53:38 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I had not seen that the Ascendio programming schedule was up...

Goodness. I shall be rambling for you on saturday, july 14th at noon, in a room called Tuscan I.

The circulation has gone from my extremities ;-)

Well, getting back to another writing until bedtime session... I am now at work upon the eighth essay.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

Professor Stalling

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 15 May 2012 20:53:44 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

after a few days of ~~stalling~~ relaxing (my back is healing well) and nesting (straightening out the dungeons a bit, reorganizing a few shelves worth of books, adding more interfaith/peaceful touches to the walls) and gardening (the yard was turning into a spring jungle), I am finally finishing seventh essay.

Mercy. Once I get going, equanimity will re-establish itself.

Relax, relax, relax...

I have to say that seeing green leaves on the trees outside my window is most soothing.

A little music, a few deep breaths. I can do this. I believe I am more afraid of the outcome than the process... Who am I to be doing this? is the thought I hear. From Awareness comes the reply, Let go of all that.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

nowhere and everywhere

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Fri, 11 May 2012 00:55:08 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I have been resting a lot these past couple of days, and going to bed early. I am happy to report that my back has not been hurting me; it is just a little sensitive. I have been applying the ointments assiduously, and I imagine that in a week, the healing will be well on the way.

A loved one had asked to see pictures of the malas I got when I went to see the Dalai Lama. So here they are... On top of the green monk's bag I also got that day and which I shall bring with me to Ascendio.

I have been using the larger one a lot; the smaller one with the rosewood beads is in the black bag I always carry wherever I go.

Today, I have been listening to an amazing CD. It is so peaceful and calming. I am giving it twelve stars out of ten.

Tomorrow, I would like to finish the seventh essay... Next week, eighth essay. The week after that, ninth and final essay. Then, a couple of days to read through the manuscript twice. Then I shall upload it to lulu, order a copy, approve it once I have taken a look at it (at which point it will be available on lulu). Then I shall ship copies to the Portofino. It should be available on amazon around Ascendio or not too longer after.

I shall definitely be resting in june. Read in the garden. I have piles of interesting books beckoning me... Books by Alan Watts, books about superstring theory, The Holographic Universe, I Am That by Nisargadatta Maharaj. And so on. I am currently reading a book that is one of the most excellent texts I have read so far this year, Stepping out of self-deception: the Buddha's liberating teaching of no-self by Rodney Smith. All I can say is, it flows.

I am going to rest tonight, too. I am about to lie down and watch a film. Speaking of films, I watched "Amongst White Clouds" the other day and found it of great benefit. It is immensely poetic and mystical. I quoted it in The Severus Snape Paradigm.

Goodness. Time to lie down a bit.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

or, Dragon Pox

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 08 May 2012 21:36:15 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

today I had my appointment with the dermatologist because of the seborrheic keratosis...

Goodness. I think I am tired now.

First, before anyone worries, I shall say again that these spots are completely benign. Some people are more prone to them than others due to heredity. Pretty much everyone gets them after the age of 40.

I probably started getting them in my mid to late thirties, but never really paid much attention to them -having no idea what they were, other than little spots or something- until I learned last year that when my grandfather died around the age of 90, his back was basically one giant mass of these things; if they are not seen to, they can get very large with time, and become crusty and itchy (when he finally decided to see someone, it was much too late). When I found out about this, I thought, is that what those spots on my back are? If I had known, I would have had seen a dermatologist sooner.

My appointment was with Dr. Charbonneau. He said that I had so many on my back that the best way to treat them would be with a laser. I told him that now that I knew I was prone to them, I planned on getting checked out once a year, and he said, "That would be the best thing... Then, it'll never get as bad again. We'll just have to take care of a few of them."

To my surprise, he told me that he could do my entire back in one treatment (I have some on my torso, but not nearly as many; he will remove them during our next appointment, in june). He said, "We can start, and you can tell us how you feel... Some people find it painful and apply a numbing ointment before their appointment."

I figured tattooing had to be worse, so I basically said, fire up the machine.

It was not too bad... The pain, I mean. It probably hurt more because they did so many, and it was so fast. The whole thing took about fifteen minutes of continuous "pshtt pshtt" (that is the sound the laser pulses made; it felt like getting sprayed with something cool that almost instantly turned hot).

They gave me creams I have to apply on my back for ten days. The dermatologist told me that the little wounds would all fall off on their own, but he will be making sure everything healed correctly.

After I came home and took off my shirt, I looked in the bathroom mirror, gasped and began laughing like crazy (my better half did not think it so amusing! I think he worried that something like that had to hurt, but it is not that bad).

I took a picture to document the experience. The spots are redder in actuality.

I look like I have Dragon Pox ;-)

It is supposed to start burning later, but I have excellent creams.

Whew. I definitely think I am a little tired now.

I am going to write a bit (or at least try), but mostly I am going to rest. And eat plenty.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

state of the professor

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sun, 06 May 2012 02:29:00 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I am halfway through the seventh essay.

The new electric furnace and water heater were installed on... *has to think for a moment* thursday, and everything went well, though I usually find such things somewhat stressful. Potion was hiding the entire time. Especially when they had to cut the empty oil tank in half to get it out of the basement and through the back door.

That evening, I wrapped myself in warm blankets around nine o'clock -I was too tired to think straight- drank a soothing medicinal tea, and got up at nine the next morning.

Friday morning I bought food; the refrigerator was getting rather bare.

Other than taking care of life's necessities, I sit at the computer and work on the book. These days, the music I listen to while I write is supremely mellow; I have downloaded albums like Ars Lucis and The Resonant Memory of Earth by Max Corbacho and The Stellar Sea by Telomere.

I hope to answer your kind comments tomorrow after the morning service...

If I am to sign copies of the book at Ascendio, I must finish it before the month is over. And so that is what I am going to do. Two and a half essays to go. I am almost done. I think the book will be all right, but I am not worried. I am not really thinking about specific results; I am just sharing my heart. When I skim through what I have written, the common thread appears to be Oneness. I write about paradox; circles; letting go; love; complementarity; non-duality; mystery. I mention the Holly King; I mention Shiva Nataraja and the ring of fire.

Writing this book has been healing many ways.

One of the persons I most recently quoted was Pema Chödrön: "You’re never going to get all the little loose ends tied up." What a blessed relief there is in those words. That is one of the things I find so inspiring about Professor Snape. Even the finished book will be, in a sense, unfinished; those who read it will add whatever they wish to it -their interaction with the text will be another ingredient to the brew. Possibly some will find it palatable, and possibly others not... This will depend on a number of factors. I share my heart, and the harmony I have experienced, and leave everyone free.

I myself am unfinished, forever unfinished. This notion is inexpressibly calming to me. I feel unfinished yet complete. Perhaps I feel complete because I am also contentedly unfinished.

Time for a little cereal and some shut eye.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

three essays about Professor Snape on the wall

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 01 May 2012 22:01:50 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I have begun the seventh essay... I am in the home stretch now. Two more left after this one. I am almost there. I shall not relent until the book is finished.

I shall be answering all of your comments to my latest entries soon... I am starting to feel strained; my better half has noticed that I am showing initial signs of burn out (such as, I yammer a lot and pace). But the work is going well. I was quickly skimming through the first six essays yesterday and the rambles did not look too bad to me (even though last night I did write something to the effect that Neville Longbottom assisted in Professor Snape's spiritual rebirth by cutting the umbilical cord/severing Nagini's head).

I saw a Savage Chickens cartoon yesterday that perfectly summed up my august vacation plans:

This afternoon, I had to get a haircut. The really long shag was starting to drive me crazy. Unlike Alan Rickman, I do not have a team of experts following me around with curlers and hairspray to mess it up re: Deathly Hallows. After I have just washed it, it looks very soft and fluffy, but it goes flat very fast because of the weight of my mass of fine hair. It is easier for me to achieve that messed up look when I opt for the shorter, Philosopher's Stone style Snape shag; then my hair does what it naturally seems to want to do.

My hairdresser is incredibly meticulous, I tell you, and layers and feathers my hair in a manner I can only describe as painstaking. She takes the Snape shag very seriously (let us see how often I can say the words "Snape shag" in this entry).

I always love those little flippy-dos at the back. When I let the Snape shag grow longer, it looks slicker, which is also nice, but messy is my favorite. It is that look the Potions Master sports on my arm.

Letting her wash and cut my hair relaxed me.

But now, I have had my Pepper Up potion, and I am set to write until bedtime asdfghjkl;

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your affection and support, which means a lot.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

quiet, universal strength

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 16:17:20 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I am so glad that I went to the Dalai Lama's talk yesterday... It was wonderful.

Everything went very smoothly, even though it was all at the last minute. I got up, showered, went to pick up my ticket (I had looked the place up on Google maps the previous evening), drove back home, took my better half to work, arrived at the venue fifteen minutes before the doors opened; it went like clockwork.

A number of Tibetan people had tables where they displayed their beautiful wares. The event was due to start an hour later, so I got some malas, bags used by monks (one of which I shall bring with me to Ascendio; it is green and has the Mantra of Compassion embroidered on the front, quite soothing and lovely), scarves (one green, the other orange; the latter is what I like to call a Buddhist sympático scarf, and very NDP), and colorful prayer banners (one, green, is hanging on the door to my sanctuary; the other, blue, is on a wall in the living room). Then I went inside the main room and climbed the stairs to my seat. I would later find out that there were 7000 of us present.

First they showed us films about Tibet and the Canada Tibet Committee, and then the spokesperson for said committee mentioned that many were probably looking forward to seeing Richard Gere; the audience laughed, and laughed even more when the man's announcement caused a group of photographers and reporters to hasten towards their designated area near the stage.

Richard Gere spoke briefly and was most gracious, I thought. Then he yielded the stage to the Dalai Lama, first saying that the photographers would once again be allowed to take pictures in their designated area; "Things are orderly, because this is Canada," Gere said, and the audience laughed appreciatively.

Then the Dalai Lama appeared and he radiated peace and compassion. He was accompanied by his interpreter, whom he frequently consulted, but so quickly that His Holiness hardly missed a beat as he spoke. It was heart-warming to see and hear him say words I had already read in his books... Among other things, he talked about universal Oneness, compassion, about self-centeredness resulting in fear, about the vital importance of trust, respect for other views and difference, all topics very close to my heart.

He was made an Honorary Canadian citizen a few years ago, and he again expressed his gratitude for this, as well as for the Canadian government's pledge to receive 1000 displaced Tibetans in Canada. You could feel his core of inner strength and deep serenity.

It was all just... amazing. A most inspiring experience.

I was exhausted afterwards. I slowly inched my way through the crowd as we exited the hall, and that afternoon simply lay on the couch, half-awake. I was half-awake for the rest of the day, actually, but very glad.

I became a member of the Canada Tibet Committee this morning after I returned home from my quiet Anglican service, to show my support.

Today will be tranquil... I shall finish the sixth essay (only two pages left), and rest.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

once-in-a-lifetime event

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 01:41:09 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I just wrote this over on my Facebook page:

Well, I just did something crazy again... I had no idea until this afternoon that the Dalai Lama was in Ottawa today. And I had no idea until moments ago (flipping through a magazine I picked up by chance at the health food store this morning) that he is speaking tomorrow morning. I just got a ticket... So I shall have to get up at seven, shower, drive to a Ticketmaster outlet to get this ticket, come back home, drive my better half to work, then go to the venue... I am almost finished with the sixth essay... *manic bleary-eyed laughter* I shall have to go to bed soon now... My schedule overloaded these days, but... How could I not go? This is His Holiness the Dalai freakin' Lama we are talking about here.

I am getting all my things ready for tomorrow morning. I got a seat way up in what looks like an immense venue... Tomorrow will be orange scarf day.

In the afternoon, I shall continue working on the book.

My better half was very amused just now as I told him this whole story (I am in a sort of "Mozart" state -as I like to call it- of frantic/intense/drained/energized/inspired creation these days). When I ordered the ticket, I did not know exactly how I was supposed to obtain it; I figured, Whatever happens, I have to give it a shot... I just grabbed the ticket, the best one I saw that was left (so many tickets are gone already), then found out I had to pick it up in person at a Ticketmaster retail outlet. Fortunately, there is one not too far from where I live, that happens to be open early, and also happens to be open on saturdays... And of course, I shall not be thwarted by traffic, since tomorrow is saturday...

I am going to see the Dalai Lama tomorrow. Oh my gosh. I am almost done reading one of his books about compassion... I do not normally do these sorts of wild last minute things, but...

I have got to get to bed. Fortunately, I got some "Mental Calmness" tablets today by Natural Factors ("promotes deep relaxation and mental clarity"). Along with others that fight fatigue; I take those earlier in the day.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

chariot of robes

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:38:59 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I am happy to report that there is a new electric panel in the basement now, and that it all went well, and only took around five hours... We are now ready for the new electric furnace, which should be installed next week.

While the work was being done, I read Taming the Tiger Within by Thich Nhat Hanh.

I was rather tired this afternoon, and just took a nap.

Last night, I had another one of those very active dreams: I quickly shrugged into and buttoned up my Snape coat, and then broke into a sprint; I had to get somewhere in a hurry. I encountered loved ones twice, in each case briefly embraced the person, and continued running. I was out of breath in the dream.

Needless to say, I do not need an analyst to figure that one out.

I shall be getting back in the writing saddle tomorrow. I thought that resting tonight would be wise. I had a nice cup of my favorite herbal tea, Bengal Spice, I am warm and cozy in the dungeons, and I am grateful to Love.

In other news (speaking of resting!), since HPEF will no longer run the large conventions so many of us have enjoyed after Ascendio, I am beginning to find Alohomora 2013 somewhat tempting, but it would depend on a number of things, such as who would be going, and so on. It would also be my first trip across the pond, and thus would be another massive stretch for me; a daunting prospect. I am merely toying ever so slightly with the notion at this point. I am also thinking that a good long rest in 2013 instead might be preferable... I shall reflect upon all of this carefully this fall. For now, though, I shall finish the book, and celebrate during Ascendio. There will be many medicinal beverages during the ball, oh ho.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

the furnace of creation

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:36:14 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

after taking a break for a couple of days, I am getting back to essay number six...

I am feeling added incentive to make this as good a book as I can this morning, after hearing the news that Ascendio will be HPEF's final event.

This is sad, but I am looking forward to MISTI-Con in New Hampshire in 2013 (at the exact same location as Aeternitas 2011), and the real possibility of an event yet to be named taking place in Salem in 2014. And perhaps another Snapefest at some point?

Perhaps a new organization will rise out of HPEF's ashes; perhaps the future of HP conventions lies in smaller, cozier events like Aeternitas.

I have to confess that at the back of my mind, I cannot help thinking that an HP convention in Quebec city would be wonderful... At the Chateau Frontenac, "With its castle-like architecture and turrets," say. Old Quebec city is practically like Hogsmeade. Except that everything is in French. Beauxbâtons cosplayers would feel right at home, though ;-)

I am feeling more relaxed today, which is very good. I was indisposed these last few days, and feeling exhausted. As I told a loved one last night, every time I finish one of the essays in The Severus Snape Paradigm, I feel more vulnerable, even though the work is actually less arduous than when I was writing The flawed master (I was going through difficult times back then).

A lot of writing still awaits me in the coming weeks, but it is all good. After I finish the sixth essay, I shall have three left to write, and the book will be finished.

Ah, dear. My stress levels have just risen slightly. I got a call about the electric panel in the basement... It is being replaced tomorrow, because the oil furnace will be replaced next week (we are switching to an electric furnace and the voltage in the electric panel is not powerful enough or something), along with our aging water heater... They will start the electric panel work very early in the morning.

This is the sort of thing that makes me cringe and twitch. I knew the work would be done soon, but I did not know when exactly. Noise. Things being tinkered with. Disruption. Invasion.

*cringes and twitches*

Ah well, at least it will all be done soon... And the furnace/water heater work next week will take less time (and be less intrusive) than the electric panel affair tomorrow.

Please keep me in your hearts, most beloved -because of the book, mostly! I suspect I have been feeling slightly burnt out, but it is always hard for me to tell. The feelings of vulnerability I have been experiencing lately may be an indication.

However, the thought of being with loved ones at Ascendio soothes my heart. And afterwards, I shall recuperate in the garden for the rest of the summer.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

shenanigans

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 22:10:21 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I am about to work on the book for the rest of the day, but I wanted to share a couple of pictures with you first...

I had a truly marvelous time with my mother and sister last night. We went to this lovely little Moroccan/Indian/Thai restaurant in a small town about forty-five minutes from where I live, and we already have another celebration dinner lined up, namely my birthday (in june). It had been much too long since all three of us had gotten together like this.

After dressing and letting my hair dry that afternoon, I rather liked the way my Snape shag was looking, so I took one of those "me in front of a mirror with an electronic device" photographs:

This is my mother, my sister and me as we get ready to eat delicious entrées at the restaurant, which is called Le Masala. We were feeling joyous:

As you can see, my sister does the whole tanning thing a lot better than I ever could! She is wearing a necklace I got her for Christmas. For some baffling reason, my mom does not quite like having her photograph taken, so she would probably be horrified if she knew I shared this beautiful moment with you, but she does not have (or want) a computer ;-)

Well, I had better get back to the Potions Master! Speaking of whom, there will be a Snape meetup at Ascendio. If you would like to join us, take a look here: ascendio_snape. There will be shenanigans, I have a feeling.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

Ascendio: a reunion

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 21:19:08 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I am working on the sixth essay, but wanted to share happy news...

karen_jk will be joining us at Ascendio.

I am very happy. This time, I shall have her and mingbutterfly with me in Orlando! There will be much rejoicing.

Oh gosh, I have also just found out that meri_oddities will be there too (at least for one day)! All of this is warming my heart so as I work on the book.

Speaking of which, I shall be getting back to it now.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

blue light

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 01:00:30 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

this morning, I finished the fifth essay... Seventeen pages.

Yesterday, as I sat down to work, I knew I had to overcome a mental hurdle. I was afraid to finish it. The thought of having only four more to go once the fifth one was completed made the project more tangible than ever, and I felt paralyzed. The same words kept repeating themselves inside my mind: Do I want to do this.

I wanted to sit in a quiet corner with a book, and just... be quiet...

Instead, I lit a blue candle -blue being a peaceful color- which I anointed with fragrant oils, and asked Supreme Love to assist and strengthen me. I set up two tarot cards with images that gave me courage and comforted me, namely the two of wands and the six of swords.

I resumed work on the essay, and quickly saw that the blockage was gone. I wrote for hours, and drew parallels that surprised and delighted me. I was upheld by the words I was writing about Professor Snape and the Wheel of Love.

I have now begun working on the sixth essay.

My rose is healing very well. Over half has already peeled off, and the piece looks beautiful.

I am having dinner with my mother and sister on wednesday, to celebrate my sister's birthday, and I am immensely looking forward to it. It has been ages since we have done this.

I hope with all my heart that your week will be joyful also, my dearest ones.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

the Yin Master

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 23:36:32 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I am sitting here eating chocolate bunny (not much left now), and taking it pretty easy tonight... I wrote some more earlier, and shall definitely finish that fifth essay this week. However, I am doing it slowly, as though taking a deep breath before the madness of completing the four final essays within a month begins next week.

At least I am getting to that part where I shall be saying, four, three, two, one. I have now written more than what is still left to write.

The swelling in my right arm is almost gone. After I removed the bandage tuesday night and gingerly washed the new pieces -especially the rose- I felt even more woozy than the time I did so for the sword-snake-cauldron, and had to sit down on the floor, sipping ginger ale until I felt steady enough to go lie down on my daybed with a wet towel on my face; my ears rang for about fifteen minutes. I was surprised because the bandage removal went well (I did not have to deal with any tape on my skin, and the bandage had not adhered to any part of my arm), but when I began washing my inner forearm, I knew almost right away that I would have to sit down pronto.

Ah well -it is not as though I shall be getting my inner forearms tattooed again! Tomorrow, the pieces will hardly feel tender at all when I apply the ointment.

I love the red rose, and the mere sight of the mantra makes me smile. The boldness of the rose goes rather well with Captain Harlock, whom I see as a Yang force... Professor Snape's lilies, on the other hand, are very delicate, shades of grey with white highlights, and they suit him very much also: I see him as embodying a Yin force (I have written about this, Snape as Yin/the moon, in The Severus Snape Paradigm).

In other news, I shall be having dinner with wolfraven80 tomorrow, and I am quite happy about that. The weather will be sunny and fairly mild, and the company of a dear fellow introvert will be lovely.

Oh, my gosh... In three months, Ascendio will have begun!

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

symbols of love

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 23:01:07 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I am about to lie down in front of the television for the remainder of the day, and rest...

My session with Tiffany this afternoon was wonderful, as always. We did a couple of things on my right arm.

First, she did something that I selected yesterday evening: a Yin Yang symbol (Taijitu), with the Mantra of Compassion (in Tibetan). She began with this and it was smooth sailing. It almost did not hurt at all, I thought.

Then she did the rose. It is twice as large as the lilies on my left arm, as there will be only one. She did it full color -red- which we both thought would look great with the simple Harlock skull and crossbones (which she touched up a bit).

The rose hurt more. But it was fine.

All the designs on both arms look fantastic together... I am so pleased. Also, this has given me a boost as I work on the second half of The Severus Snape Paradigm. Onwards!

Though not tonight; my arm is too sore. After I got home, my better half and I ordered food, and as I sat looking at takeout menus, I suddenly belted out with a scratchy voice, à la Aerosmith, "Love hurts!"

Better half looks at the ceiling: "Oh, my God."

Better half and me: *riotous laughter*

Well, I am going to sit down for a while... I have a feeling I shall be eating more chocolate bunny after I remove the bandage later.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

trailing clouds of glory

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:11:10 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I have writing to do today... This is good.

I also just came across a film (after ordering a few books on my favorite topics, love and peace) that took my breath away...

It reminds me of "Into Great Silence" -a film I have treasured since I first came across it, a jewel, a profound tranquil joy.

The film is called "Amongst White Clouds" and is about Chinese Zen Buddhist hermits.

Here is part of it:

Amazing. Sublime... Someday, perhaps, my path will take me in a somewhat similar direction... But no matter. It is all good. I can wait. Whatever comes, comes.

Love is my guide. So, there is no need to worry.

It is like my writings... It is better if I just do what is to be done, and leave it all in the care of Love. It is all a quiet outpouring of everything I have learned and continue to learn, as I grow, slowly.

Ah, goodness... I have often worried lately. Viewing material like the films I have just mentioned is most helpful. I remember what is important. I let go of what troubles me. It comes down to practice, patience and compassion.

Here is something I have written in The Severus Snape Paradigm:

All human beings embody divine plenitude in their own manner, each one like a snowflake falling from a magnificent, uniformly white sky and in William Wordsworth’s mystical words, "trailing clouds of glory."

I am not the entirety of the heavens, but I am one of its intricate ice crystals.

The mystery of why the behavior of some of us does not lead to what would be of most benefit -health, harmony, peace- will not be resolved by moral judgment, but should rather foster love, patience and compassion.

I only know that I am convinced everything is ascending. How this takes place is often beyond my present comprehension. My own enlightenment is in its infancy; this encourages me to have compassion upon myself and absolutely everyone else.

Thus I have never perceived more beauty, everywhere I look.

A hot beverage now, I think, and more writing.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

Love renews all things endlessly

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 17:14:50 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

what a wonderful morning it is... My heart is filled with hope.

I would like to share something I find very peaceful and centering: it is a recitation of OM MANI PADME HUM, also known as the Mantra of Compassion. The words mean "The Jewel in the Lotus."

Ah, goodness, this is putting me in the mood to read Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh... Perhaps once I have begun the sixth essay in The Severus Snape Paradigm (I am getting closer to finishing the fifth one! I ran out of steam a bit this week... This is natural, I think. I have been writing quite intensely for over a month), I shall treat myself to a little reading.

After I have eaten the delicious lunch that my better half is in the midst of preparing, and rested somewhat, I shall continue writing... At the moment, I am writing about the art of peacefulness. An art inextricably entwined with unconditional love.

That is the one thing... The one thing needful. I am learning to discard all else, which is not always without pain -this is due to clinging- but in the end, what sublime peace there is in radiating from the center.

I trust in Love, and am devoted to all the beautiful ways in which Love manifests its mysterious boundlessness.

Love, peace and joy to you, most beloved.

glitter-graphics.com

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

blue skies and chocolate

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 20:07:54 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I did a few speedy errands this afternoon, then hurried home... There were crowds because of the holiday. It is always a relief once I have returned to my peaceful sanctuary.

It is supposed to be a mild, sunny day tomorrow, which warms my heart. I shall go to the early service as usual, and withdraw into my quiet place for the rest of the day... Work on the book. Eat some chocolate bunny. Gaze out of the window. Nurse a nice, celebratory medicinal beverage (Grand Marnier would go well with the chocolate bunny).

Oh my gosh, that reminds me: I have not watched my Easter Snoopy DVD yet! The book has been consuming my brain, evidently. However, I shall be watching the Easter Beagle tonight.

I hope you are having a beautiful weekend, my deeply cherished ones.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

for you I was aflame

logospilgrim@livejournal.com — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 17:39:07 GMT

Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

I just did something, on the spur of the moment, that is guaranteed to make writing seem like the most relaxing activity in the world for a while...

For the first time since I have owned Macs, I turned on GarageBand and learned how to record vocals.

I quickly crooned a song (in a sort of semi smooth manner) and actually figured out how to save it as an mp3 file, which I then uploaded to my tumblr for you.

As I wrote there, the only thing I find more nerve-wracking than writing and speaking is singing, which is why this is something I have not done much. Yes, I was in a band (briefly -I was not cut out for that sort of thing), and I sang in a choir (which exhausted me utterly), among other things, and I know my voice has delighted loved ones in the past, but honestly, on the whole I can only do it if I am a)alone or b)mildly intoxicated.

The song is "Love is a losing game" and well.... You can listen to it here... I love that song. Love is a good losing game... It takes everything. I am glad to put all my chips down for Love's sake. It is what I am doing by writing this latest book of mine.

I shall get back to it!

My better half was amused yesterday, because for some reason, the cat seemed smaller to me, and I began to worry. "Has he been eating as much? Is it my imagination, or does he look smaller?"

Better half: *laughter*

I am a tad strained these days (can you tell?). But it is all good. I have been writing about the mystical aspects of Professor Snape's homework assignments.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor