Master, bless.

My most precious ones,

it is such a perfect day today... I am feeling more revitalized. Saturday I suffered from a bout of insomnia (as sometimes happens), but I slept well last night and at the moment feel... Well, awake! It is much better.

I am filled with joy now that I shall be able to format my manuscripts for lulu, thanks to Mariner Write. My sanctuary will be a place dedicated to blessed work over the coming years, especially once my fandom activity is reduced to almost none. That being said, I am looking forward to speaking at Prophecy. I believe my slight apprehension is diminishing. Yesterday evening I watched a story about "Into Great Silence" and I was mesmerized... It was an interview with the director. Goodness! The film is available on amazon.ca and shipped right away -amazon.com, for some reason, only starts shipping this item in october. Oh, I am so happy. I shall have the great fortune of viewing it later this week! The little I saw yesterday was immensely inspiring and comforting... The director spoke of the monks and their changeless routine, which effectively nullifies the future; they live in the present and have no fear. They are cloistered, but characterized by a boundless inner freedom... I was awed by them. I would like to live as they do, even if a minute capacity. Thus, I have reminded myself that I should not be intimidated by my upcoming lecture. The Lord will guide me. There is no need for agitation.

I have begun making my third black coat. I have altered the pattern a bit so that I shall not have to adjust the back with darts like I did when I fashioned the second coat. It will fall very simply. Soon I shall have the art of making those black coats of mine down to a science. I have to say that wearing the clothes I do is most calming. I wear the same things. It is untroublesome. I recently had my boots resoled and the heels repaired, because those are the shoes I wear every day. There is nothing wrong with having a varied wardrobe, needless to say. However, my clothing reflects personal choices, if you will... Choices that have yielded deep tranquility.

It has also been very healing. I feel that I have salvaged the darkest period of my life... A time when I dressed in black because I was depressed and in the clutches of meaninglessness. Now I dress in black because I am at peace. Furthermore, I do not get bored... I am content to wear similar coats on a daily basis. On sundays, I wear dress pants; I have worn the same exact pair for... over two years? On other days, I wear black jeans. I have three pairs of them in my closet. In the summer I wear black shirts, in the winter black turtlenecks. That is it. Such austerity is incredibly appeasing. Often, when I have to do errands, I feel a profound sense of liberation. I see the new things, there are always new things... I find it exhausting. Once again, there is nothing wrong with expressing oneself creatively through the medium of clothing; indeed it can be a most artistic endeavor... But I think that the root of fashion "trends" is dissatisfaction. I am thinking of the Taoist saying: "he who knows that enough is enough will always have enough."

The Lord keeps His faith forever. He is changeless, abiding, everlasting.

Who can wait until the mud settles?
Who can remain still until the moment of action?
Observers of the Tao do not seek fulfillment.
Not seeking fulfillment, they are not swayed by desire for change.

He who is attached to things will suffer much.
He who saves will suffer heavy loss.
A contented man is never disappointed.
He who knows when to stop does not find himself in trouble.
He will stay forever safe.

Without going outside, you may know the whole world.

Keep your mouth shut,
guard your senses,
And life is ever full.
~Tao Te Ching

I shall work without working. I think of the books I wish to write, of my essay; the thought comes, What if it is all foolishness? What if it should come to nothing? and I am not bothered. I continue. I remember God. Nothing else matters. Scripture delights me; the Lord's word is honey to my mouth; the Lord is my life. I do not look to myself, but to Him. I embrace poverty and His abundance grants me perfect peace.

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
~Psalm 16:5-8

I wish you heavenly joy, most beloved.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor